Ms. J wrote a really great post today about the importance of having the right people in your inner circle. It is crucial to our success to have those people who will lift you up, give it to you straight, and not throw dirt on your fire. However, in order to make room for those people to come in, you have to show the wrong people out.
Back when I was a corporate slave, we had annual job performance evaluations. If you scored well, you were put in line for possible promotion in the company. If you didn’t, you could be terminated. Being a good friend is a job. It takes effort and heart. So why shouldn’t we evaluate our friends routinely to make sure they’re still a good fit?
For the past year, I’ve been doing evaluations. My success is a matter of when, not if, and I want to make sure I have the right people with me. I’m surprised by the ones who make the cut just as much as I am by the ones who don’t. Other people might not get your choices. No one has to see the potential except you. No one has to know the private conversations between friends, or recognize the hustle. It’s not everybody’s friendship. It’s yours. Remember, Jesus’s inner circle was far from perfect. But they were right for the job.
Sometimes, haters make their way into your inner circle. They’ve said the right things, pretended to support you, and all the while they’re looking to talk about you behind your back and thwart your attempts at success. Haters pay so much attention to you because they don’t want to spend the time and effort to deal with their own mess. I know that some people will tell you to ignore your haters, and let God deal with them. Well, Sweetie Pie, you won’t get that advice here.
God will handle vengeance, but you have to handle respect. Jesus confronted his haters, and so can you. There’s nothing wrong with letting someone know that you can’t be a friend to someone who isn’t a friend to you. There’s nothing wrong with letting someone know that not only do you have to be equally yoked in marriage, but in ALL relationships. Goodbye, unreliable person. See ya, lazy person. So long, gossip. Never again, backstabber. Oh, and for the haters in your family, Farewell kin but not kind. I will have to love you from a distance.
Stop letting haters keep you from real love.