We’re All Friends Here

Image via Wikipedia

 

 

 

 

 

 

According to this New York Times article, we no longer have six degrees of separation. It has now narrowed to just 4.74 degrees, as determined by our Facebook “friends.” As much as I wanted to write about how wonderful it is that we are all so connected because of social media and these here interwebs, I’m not sure that’s really the case.

As much as I love the idea of sharing our stories and learning from one another in our trials and triumphs, I value intimacy even more. To know me is to know that I don’t have a lot of friends, and as a colleague once told me, I’m “not accepting applications.” That’s because I put a great deal of time and care into my friendships, and you can’t give that to just anybody.  I’m a big fan of relationships, especially friendships, developing organically.

My friends are the people who know me, not just my stats or the info I posted on Facebook. They know my passion for my family, and the sacrifices I have made for mine. They know about my dreams, my failures, my lovers, my haters, my fears, and my many, many flaws. They know me.

I do wish Facebook had more options than friend or like. In my requests, I’d like to see a progression of sorts. Acquainted? If no; would you like to be acquainted? If yes; friend, foe, or indifferent? If there’s a like button, shouldn’t there be a hate button, too? I would try my best not to push it, but I just know that someone one day would work my nerves enough to do it. (It’s one of the aforementioned flaws. I’m working on it.) Then I’d feel bad and delete my account.

And what if we do decide to delete our accounts? What if we decide that we want to start going to our friends’ homes to hold their babies, or if they live far away, send them a handwritten letter to let them know how much we care. What if we knock on some doors instead of seeing if our “friends” are online for FB chat? What if we save our money to see that friend that lives in another state? What if we remembered to actually hug our friends instead of sending them a *hug*? To me, it seems that we would be much closer, and much more sympathetic to each others’ plights than we are right now. And while I will continue to embrace the new standard and choose to see the opportunity in being separated by 4.74 degrees, I really don’t think six degrees was all that bad.